Touring bands are people that punks will always deal with. Its one of the reasons punk is what it is. If you’re in a punk band on tour, unless everyone hates you and your band, you will probably be staying at someone’s house the night after the show.

I’ve been setting up punk shows and letting bands stay at my house for six years now and I’ve picked up a few things that are helpful and harmful when it comes to everything outside of “the show.”

1. Always be grateful. You should be happy that you don’t have to pay for a hotel room, or worse, sleep in the van. Before a show once, I made a bunch of food for the band that I knew was going to be staying at my house that night. I spent money on the food and took time out of my day that I could otherwise be watching Seinfeld with so I could help out a band with some home cookin’ after the show for a little taste of home. Instead, when I brought this up, out of the 6 dudes, only two of them said they’d eat it. The others turned out to just be really picky eaters. They asked me questions like “are the onions sautéed or just raw?“ When I told him they were cooked and then blended in a blender with some potatos so that he wouldn’t even know they were in there unless I told him, he just said “I’ll try ONE noodle. Is there a gas station near your house?”

These are the things hosts remember, people. You probably won’t end up at my house again. And if you do, I won’t be making any stupid food that you won’t even eat.

2. Do the dishes. Bands that help out around the house while they’re staying with a punk host rule. When we first get to my house and I’m running around getting blankets and pillows (so you can sleep well since you FORGOT yours) , cut me some slack. Ask questions about the sleeping arrangements, instead of just plopping down and un-raveling your sleeping bag in the middle of the kitchen while I’m trying to do stuff in there.

When the food is gone and everyone’s going into food coma‘s, do the dishes. I know, I know…you’re hands MAY get clean. I realize that not showering or cleaning in general is super punk when you’re on tour (and not on tour for that matter), but the host will love you for doing something that they don’t have to worry about.

See, the hosts’ life still goes on. They have to go to work, deal with irritable roommates, and  drive their sister to the dentist, while all you have to worry about is finding whatever pop that city is famously-known for having around town.

3.Pretend you were never there. This isn’t quite as bad as the saying “make it cleaner than how you found it.” Just make sure you take care of your candy wrappers, remember to take all your sleepover stuff back with you ( I don’t especially like sending medicine or records that you forgot in the mail to some place you’re going to be in 3 days and then never get reimbursed) , and if you knocked over that tall boy, clean it up right away (even if your host seems like the kind of person who doesn’t care about spills, they may be.)

These are not hard things to do, people! I had a great band stay over at my house the other day. We got to my house, they did their dishes after they ate the food I made for them, they weren’t loud, and they were very organized. ALL of them set their alarms for the next morning, instead of the one person in the band who happens to be the deepest sleeper (and also the one that slept in a room separate from the rest of the band) and I woke up thinking that I didn’t even hear them when they left in the wee hours of the morning (I‘m a super-light sleeper. These are the sort of things I cherish).

I mostly get along with any band that doesn’t have spoiled brats in them. This isn’t your mom’s house. Stop raiding my fridge. It’s not hard to leave a city in happy moods because of the experience you had the night before. It really isn’t.

I do like having people over, and meeting people whom I would have never met otherwise. It just makes everything more easier if you could just help me out a bit. I’m doing you a favor.